Tear Down to Build Up

Some thoughts recently:

Even though this got me down, I realized that all I needed to do was refocus. I got rejected. So what. I’m a writer and that’s part of the process.

I hate to admit that the taste of success, followed by the rejection, really did affect me. I haven’t written nearly as much as I should have. Plus, with that Blog Every Day In May Challenge… I was giving all of my focus to the blog, and very little to my fiction/short story/novel writing. I realized I had to start over. I had to just let things go…. I had to stop, drop, and sit back and relax. I took a short blog break. I took a sort-of writing break altogether, but I’m back in action.

During that time I:

Chopped off all of my hair. It’s one of the most refreshing, liberating, and confidence-boosting things I’ve ever chosen to do. Yay!

I’m loving it.

me and mah books

Began a new book. It’s very personal in some ways, and just the book I’d like to pick up and read (which they say is the way to do it, so, yay again!) Some parts have been difficult to write, & I am finding myself writing out plot lines, character details, and chapter by chapter notes for the first time. I think this is a good sign. (though it’s by no means super organized. Read here about why that is.) I’ve had fun making up the (tragic) scenarios, because although the book might feel personal, it is very different from the life I live. That’s the beauty of a book. You never know what lead the author to writing it, what he or she took from real life, and what came from simply listening to a song. Ahhhh, the beauty of secrets.

I’ll never be completely organized, but this is a start!

I got a new job!!! Well, internship. I gave my two weeks at the bakery (which is really almost a month, since this starts in mid-august), and starting soon I will be interning (full time!) with Skarsgard Farms here in Albuquerque. I am SO EXCITED and SO READY to take on a new challenge. (Come visit me at the market!)

This will be me, not just at home, but at work:

out in the garden

Those are the highlights of the changes in my life.

Oh, and I also thought I’d be giving you all a summer reading list update every Sunday. I realized that goal was a little too burdensome for me. Now, I’ll just be doing those at random. But don’t think I’ve been slacking off, either. I finished two books in the last two weeks, I’m reading two right now, and I still have two more for book club. (Ask me how I have so much time to read, and we’ll have a real conversation, oh boy!)

I have been relating to a poem of Rumi’s lately, so I’ll leave you with that. Maybe it’ll speak to you in the same way.

The Pickaxe

Rumi

Some commentary on I was a hidden treasure,

and I desired to be known: tear down

this house. A hundred thousand new houses

can be built from the transparent yellow carnelian

buried beneath it, and the only way to get to that

is to do the work of demolishing and then

digging beneath the foundations. With that value

in hand all the new construction will be done

without effort. And anyway, sooner or later this house

will fall on its own. The jewel treasure will be

uncovered, but it will not be yours then. The buried

wealth is your pay for doing the demolition,

the pick and shovel work. If you wait and just

let it happen, you’d bite your hand and say,

“I didn’t do as I knew I should have.” This

is a rented house. You don’t own the deed.

You have a lease, and you’ve set up a little shop,

where you barely make a living sewing patches

on torn clothing. Yet only a few feet underneath

are two veins, pure red and bright gold carnelian.

Quick! Take the pickaxe and pry the foundation.

You’ve got to quit this seamstress work.

What does the patch sewing mean, you ask. Eating

and drinking. The heavy cloak of the body

is always getting torn. You patch it with food,

and other restless ego-satisfactions. Rip up

one board from the shop floor and look into

the basement. You’ll see two glints in the dirt.